Waiting Room February love letter

For you,

One of the kindest gestures we can offer each other is the genuine acknowledgement that each of us is at least moderately flawed. We're all marred by insecurities, exasperating quirks, and an attention that can sometimes be focused on anything but what's important. If we grant ourselves permission to be content in our inherent fallibility, knowing that it is but one caveat to all that is wonderful within us, and then extend that permission to those around us, we allow the entire world to meet us as they are while we conspire to be the excellent people we are set to become.

Friends, until very recently, I had been having a hard time.

It’s not that any one thing happened or that anyone could have done anything to change the course of my discomfort. Rather, it was a compilation of things I had to go alone: an ending of a relationship, a new routine, a frightening encounter with a stranger. Each layer added a level of heat to a simmering channel of self-doubt that I kept hidden beneath the surface. It dogged everything I said and did. It was suffocating. I foolishly believed that it would go away on its own once I got my bearings, but like any good relationship, my connection with myself suffers under neglect.

The truth is, if I don’t stay invested in that relationship, I can start to convince myself that I am a wholly unacceptable person. Doubt in myself and in my place in the world is my hamartia if I let it be. It will absolutely stifle me.

It pains me to admit that, but I do so because I’m certain it is relatable. In fact, I get really excited about Valentine’s Day because I think it’s incredible that we have a whole day to show people that we care about them. I don’t think we’d need that if most humans didn’t occasionally feel a bit disconnected from the beautiful truth of who they are and what they mean to the world around them.

Flowers from lovers are great, but the most important Valentine you'll ever have is yourself. You can't substitute someone else's affection for what you aren't giving yourself. The relationship you have with yourself--the relationship I have with myself--lays the foundation for the relationships we have with everyone else in our lives--those known and unknown. I know this. I've seen this. 

Embracing the feeling that nothing I do matters prevents me from doing the things that do matter. Feeling like I am unacceptable prevents me from being accepted and accepting others. Believing that I am ordinary prevents me from doing extraordinary things. The whole world loses when we dim our light and play small.

I defeat self-doubt when I live within the channels of my core values: things like kindness, authenticity, connection, balance, and positivity. When I make my decisions from those places and view myself from that lens, I feel more connected and alive. It's life-affirming; I have to believe that living fully into who I am has a larger impact, even and especially when I can't see it.

Your values will be different than mine and that's okay. You're not wrong. It is what makes you perfectly suited to live the life you're in and love the people in your world. Please, embody your truth. You are needed, wanted, and valued. Show up as you--you're ready and you're right on time.

I hope I get to spend Valentine's Day as I did in 2020, plastering the city in Random Notes while nibbling chocolates, apparently unaware of the twelve-degree chill for the fire in my heart. I hope you spend Valentine's Day celebrating love with abandon your way. But above all, my Valentine wish is that you know--without having to hear it from a box of conversation hearts or a sexy someone--that you are valid, perfectly suited to do powerful things in this life, and preloaded with core values and inclinations that are absolutely worth heeding.

Stay connected. You're important.  Eat the chocolate. Love the world. 

xo,

Gabrielle

P.S. I made you a playlist. Check it out!